Ex Patriot Vince Wilfork going buff in ESPN’s Body Issue

Ever wonder what Vince Wilfork looks like naked? Of course you do, you sick freak.

Well, if you’re like 99.99 percent of the population and answered yes to that question, Christmas just came early and July is your new favorite month — if it wasn’t your favorite month already. Not only do we have the Fourth of July and the bulk of the summertime, we will have the release of ESPN: The Body Issue. And yeah, ex-New England Patriots defensive tackle Vince Wilfork is going to be in it. Woo!!!

Now, this is a family-friendly site, so nothing of it will be posted on here. But ESPN has a little sneak preview for those who have always dreamed.

Don’t feel like clicking the link? Well, from what it looks like, the Body Issue is a lot of covered up stuff, so just picture like Katy Perry in California Gurls or Britney Spears in Womanizer. Actually, no, don’t think of big Vince up in a cloud or in a sauna.

Great songs by the way.

So what’s Big Vince think of all this stuff? He doesn’t really care if people think he’s fat or not. He’s listed at 6-foot-2 and 325 pounds. That honestly seems pretty small for him. Someone with as much muscle as him could not be that light because it’s not just like he’s really fat. He’s a big man, but he’s also got a ton of muscle — and muscle weighs more than fat.

What Vince cares about is playing football. And Pats fans have to miss him. He played nose tackle, taking up a ridiculous amount of space and blocking in the 3-4 scheme, allowing his teammates to make plays. And yet, he still made threats on quarterbacks and had quite a few tackles himself. Most importantly though, he made teams think twice about trying to run up the middle.

Last year, Needham’s Aly Raisman was in the body issue. She’s like 5-foot-2 and probably like 100 pounds. Now we got the biggest guy in New England in recent memory.

Rich Garces, you’re next.